Thursday, February 17, 2005

الألوان المصيرية

متابعة لحديث الألوان و قدرتها علي التعبير عن شخصي حاولت مراراً اقناع نفسي بأن الألوان ليست في شيء من التحدث و اعطاء الانطباعات عنا فهي مجرد ألوان قد تكون لطيفة أو مريحة أو محببة إلينا ، و لكني لم أنجح في اقـناع نفسي بأياً من ذلك ، و ما زلت أصر أن الألوان التي اختارها يجب أن تعبر بقوة عن شخصيتي التي تبدو ترابية و واقعية .. و من هنا كان اعجابي و ارتياحي للألوان المتدرجة من ألوان الخوخ و المشمش الطبيعية إلي ألوان التراب بمشتقاته
يداهمني حديث الألوان و القراءة عن تأثيراتها منذ فترة ليست بالقليلة .. منذ بدأت التقكير و الاعداد لمنزل الزوجية القـادم و لا أعلم لماذا تمثل لي كل خطوة في مشروع زواجي معضلة في حد ذاتها .. لا زلت أذكر الأحلام المريعة التي كانت تلاحقني عن خواتم الخطبة التي تركض خلفي كل ليلة ، وحتي بعد أن اشتريت الخاتم الذي أتعبني قراره كثيراً ظهرت أحلام أخري عن فقدان الخاتم الثمين - العلبة التي أفتحها فجأة لأجدها خالية من أي خواتم أوفص الألماس الصفيرالمنمنم الذي يسقط فجأة من موقهه المثبت علي الخاتم ليسقط أمام عيني 30 قطعة - حتي عادل المسكين المطالب بسداد كل هذه المطالبات المالية لم ينجو من الحلم القاسي الذي يري فيه أحد أصحاب شركات المطابخ المستوردة يجري ورائة ليجبرة أن يشتري المطبخ المصمم من قبل شركتهم بتكلفة 15 ألـف جنيه فقط
أفـسر كل ما يحدث لسبببين أهمهما الحالة الاقتصادية العامة و ارتفاع الأسعار المتزايد الذي يجبر شاب مثل خطيبي أن يقتصد قي ساعات نومه إلي خمس أوأربع ساعات يوميا و يوفرها لأعمال الترجمة أو تدريس اللغة الأسبانية التي تدر ربحاً جيداً و إن كان سريع التبخر ، و تجبرني أنا أن أتنازل عن تفطية أرضية المنزل بالخشب المحبب إلي قلبي و أتقبل هذا السيراميك اللطيف تحت أقدامي . أدى ذلك طبعاُ إلي احساسي بالمسئولية بأن أٌَحسن اختياراتي لأن الظروف المحيطة تنبأ بأن ما سأختاره سيبقي معي طويلاُ حيث لن يتسنى لنا تغيرة سريعاُ أو بالبلدي هيقع قي أرابيزي
أما السببب الثاني فأرجعه إلي أمراض المقارنة و التفاخر الإجتماعي التي تغلف مراسم الزواج هنا قي مصر .. و من هنا انتابتني حالة من القلق عن ما قد تسفر عنه حملات المقارنة التي تشن من خلال زيارات المباركة التي تلي الزواج المصري .. و لأني لست بالقوة الكاقية لأتزوج (بلا عقد) علي نهج أغنية كاظم الساهر (أحبيني بلا عقد) أصبحت الاختيارات أصعب و القرارات أعقد.
و مشكلة المشاكل الأن هي طلاء الشقة ..! و لأن الموضة تقول الأن أن لا يمكن أن تكتقي بالطلاء الابيض العادي و أن يتم الطلاء بألوان مختلفة و أيضاً لإعجابي الشخصي بالفكرة كان علي اختيار الألوان لطلاء الشقة ... و طبعاً لأنها معضلة كسائر اختياراتي السابقة قكلما استقر علي اختيار معين كلما داهمتني الأحلام نفسها أري فيها الشقة تبدو كمدينة ملاهي صغيرة و أحلام أخري أري فيها شقتي بألوان غرفة نوم في دوار العمدة . و لأن الميزانية المتاحة لا تسمح بالتجارب الكثيرة و لأن ربنا رزقني بأحد مهندسي الديكور يفضل الصمت عن الاقتراحات إما لأانه مؤدب كما تقول أمي أو مكسل يتكلم كما يقول عادل كان علي اجراء الاختيارات بنفـسي اعتماداً علي صور المجلات و استشارات الأصدقاء غير المجدية
مازال قرار ألوان طلاء الشقة معلق منذ شهرين تقريباً و ذلك لعجزي عن ايجاد لون مناسب للتحدث عن كينونتي الشخصية .. و لكني أري أن الألوان التي فيها شئ من الأصالة، التقوقع، الواقعية، التقلب، المزاجية و الهدووء فيها شيئاً من مكوناتي و أيضاً أشياء أخري مثل القهوة .. الشيكولاتة و التوابل بالإضاقة إلي ألوان الفاكهة
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